An empty grave/

I'm not speaking of Jesus on resurrection day. This is a much more current story. Picture with me a cemetery setting in a hilly, wooded rural area. A fresh grave site is open, awaiting the ashes of a loved one. A time of 1P.M. had been set for the private service for Robert Eli Harvey, 34 years old.


Robert is the youngest, adoptive son of Rev. Naomi Harvey. He was the 3rd generation of "Harvey" folks on Grays Harbor, Washington State. The cemetery is Fern Hill, the resting place of Robert's grandparents, and two brothers, Roberto and Davido., who died in a house fire many years ago The full story is told in Naomi's book, "A Miracle Woman-The Naomi Harvey Story" available on Amazon.com by Darlene Bogle.

Robert had long ago expressed the desire to be laid to rest in the family plot, and arrangements had been made several years earlier. Now, there would be no RIP for him, and no time to grieve his loss.

Robert Eli Harvey

No urn to place in the open grave, because the remains were stolen.


Yes, 15 minutes before that service, Robert’s wife of 5 months, Shannon Wildner Tiedemann, and Mae Hamilton, the sister in law of Robert’s brother Izzy ran up to the mortuary and grabbed the ashes then left the area. Naomi arrived to be told that Robert was gone, and that Shannon had them.

The fact that she was Robert’s wife, did not entitle her to the ashes, because she had signed them over to the cemetery to be buried. If she was entitled, she could have just gone and picked them up.

So, why is it important to tell this story? Robert’s siblings, Rosa,Juan,Miguel,Manuel,Victor, along with Darlene Bernard and Rocky Liester, and Mike,Dan and Dennis Kennedy had part of their history stolen also

I tried to have this printed in the Local newspaper, however, even tho I could prove what was done, their policy is not to print pieces where people are called out for actions like this. Say What? I thought we had freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Not in Aberdeen.

So, the big question is why did this happen? Why were the actions of Robert’s biological family so cruel and despicable? It is all tied up in their mis-understanding of homosexuality. They are all convinced it is a choice we make, and that we are going to hell for being gay! Naomi Harvey is a minister of the Lord Jesus Christ, preaching to straight and gay, transgendered and every person that crosses her path. She shares the good news that God loves them, just as they are, without exception. She lives that love in how she treats others.

So how could these people be so cruel and deprive her of a last opportunity to honor Robert’s desire to be laid to rest in the family plot? They told me he would not be buried in a grave owned by a lesbian! So they stole his ashes…and we do not know where they have taken him.

Naomi will not have the ashes to bury, but she has 35 years of memories, and the knowledge that when he knew his life was ending, he came home to mama.

My prayer is that the evil deeds and vicious comments made by Shannon and May Hamilton, will come back to rest upon their heads. Amen! May it be so.

A message to the person who commented on this posting with vile hatred. You said if I really knew Naomi I would not be defending her. The opposite is true. It is because I know her heart, and the heart of the Father that I stand by her. It sounds like you have a heart filled with unforgiveness and condemnation. I pray you will find healing and peace. God has forgiven her, as He has each of us, and we will all meet in Heaven someday.

Contact from an Exodus leader

This week I received an email from an Exodus leader I haven't heard from in almost 15 years. At first, I was just surprised, then I started really looking at his message. It read: Darlene, I'm glad I ran across your blog. I still miss you. I am sorry to hear that your lover died of breast-cancer. Darlene is God sending you a message? Please consider coming back to Exodus. You are loved and missed. Why would God call you back to lesbianism, give you a lover and then take her away. I'm sorry that you are going through this. My heart is breaking right now but I believe that you belong to the Lord and "He chastizes the one's that he loves". I believe He is calling you back. If you want to talk I am here to listen. Please call me if you want to talk. May God Bless You, Anthony Falzarano

Anthony was the founder of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and has been active in Exodus for many years. When I first left Exodus in the early 90's...Anthony called to share his concern and assure me of his prayers for my return to the fold. He never called again.
I don't want to sound harsh, or judgmental of his recent contact, but I need to respond in this blog! I want to thank Anthony for reminding me WHY I left Exodus leadership and ministry.
1. He misses me but hasn't reached out in 15 years
2.I accept that he is sorry to hear about the loss of my partner due to breast cancer(over 3 years have passed since that event.)
3. Is God sending me a message? First hint of judgment.
4Please consider coming back to Exodus.- He obviously is not aware of my apology for that involvement, or how deeply I have been impacted by seeing the great harm done to individuals and families through this message.
5. You are loved and missed.---Somehow I've missed that message from Exodus leaders
6.Then...Why would God call you back to Lesbianism, give you a lover and take her away??
I think this is the line that hit me right between the eyes. Far too many Christians beleive that God will punish you if you don't toe the mark! To assume that bad things don't happen to God's people is to have an unhealthy view of the Christian life. God didn't give Des breast cancer, and take her away because of our committed 12 years relationship. I reject that Judgment.
7. He beleives that I am the Lord's-and that God is correcting me because He loves me. That concept is Biblical, however I reject the context of illness being a result of preceived sin! AND, I DO AGREE THAT I AM THE LORDS WORKMANSHIP. HE IS MY SAVIOR, AND CREATED ME JUST AS I AM.
8.He beleives that God is calling me back. To where? To What? I haven't left, and I am still active in ministry..so this is a bit presumptious.
9.Anthony then says he is there to listen. Hummm..He has his mind made up that I'm living a sinful lifestyle, has judged me; tried to place guilt and shame on me to conform me to the accepted behavior...How can he Hear my heart when there are so many hinderences?
10. So, I remembered when I had all the answers and thought I was listening when I directed an ex-gay group. I told them how to pray and change their orientation so God would accept them completly.(Or was it so the church would accept them?)Anyway..This email has given me the chance to say one more time. I'm sorry for the harm I caused by that message of conditional love. Please forgive me. Darlene