Grief by any other name...

It has been over a year since I have logged into this blog. The last two years of my life have been focused on living through the illness of my younger sister, Debbie. She was diagnoised with Ovarian Cancer in December 2012. Everything I read did not give much hope, and anywhere from one month to six months. I flew up and spent seven months with her and her family, caring for her, cleaning house, talking with her, sitting by her bedside through several surgeries; blood transfusions, chemo treatments etc. 
It was a time of learning for me.  Debbie and her husband Quin, just didn't want to know that it was terminal...She never lost hope, and I came to the conclusion that it wasn't my job to force her to accept death.  We had two years of talking, praying and accepting, that I wouldn't have ever anticipated.

On February 20th 2015, on her own terms and timing, Debbie slipped into eternity!
Cancer did not win
She is healed and whole and not in pain any longer. 
One last trip to Washington to participate in her celebration of life...We scattered her ashes on the Humptulips River and they ran into the sea.
I brought some home to California and Becky and I went to the Santa Cruz Wharf with long time friends Doug Speegle, Cathy Campos and Dianne Delisle. They all knew her from when she lived with me in the l970's! Full Circle, and Becky was able to scatter her ashes. We tied some to a balloon also.
What I have learned from this journey...
We who are alive and remain will get through it.
I can be a strong support for those who are the other generations...
Tell your loved ones that you love them---often
Ask for forgiveness
Tell them they are forgiven
Hug them often
You don't need all the answers, you just need to be present.

There is a time to be the Pastor...and a time to just be the sister.

Listen with your heart
It's not your words, but your love that matters.

Grief by any other name, still hurts and takes time to process.
I have many many friends who are walking with me.
And a spouse who loves me
and a deep awareness of being held by the Eternal God

What more could I long for?

Winter Solstice-The Longest Night

Dec. 21,1013

Full Moon walk on the Labyrinth

November 17th 2013. The chilly night air made me glad I had worn my heavy coat. Darkness was creeping across the sky and the full moon not quite visable. The scene had been set for us...small candles placed at every turn of the Labyrinth path, with a larger candle burning in the center of the rose in the middle. Each person there for a different pilgrimage of heart and soul.
       We were ushered onto the path with a small chime and a prayer from our guide. I expressed my intent of this particular journey...to have understanding of how to embrace and comprehend the health journey of a special loved one. Every day I live with my own fears and conflicts about things I have no control over, but don't seem to be able to let go. Looking for peace.

   It wasn't quite dark as I began my contemplative walk...I followed the lights to know where to turn. There were some places where I couldn't see the path at all, and walked in the shadows. At one point another traveler whispered, "Go straight ahead". Slowly...for darkness makes me hesitant..placing one foot in front of the other. A moment of panic later on the trip to the center...had I changed paths unintentionally?

I looked up and saw a full moon peeking through the trees.  I was aware of music softly playing in the distance. With each step, I intentionally said, I release this to you God...my fear, my love, My unknown future, my tears, my anger, my joy.  I release it by an act of my will. Please fill my heart with peace

At last I was at the center, surrounded by light and others on their journey...and silence. I stood with open hands, lifted up to receive.

I began the journey back...soon I was totally lost of my path, but not hemmed in. There are no walls on a Labyrinth...I stepped to the edge, then out of the pathway. Had I missed it. Was I cheating myself of a completed journey?  No, this is my path for now. There will be other walks, other meditations..and for now, this is where I am.

Learning peace.

An empty grave/

I'm not speaking of Jesus on resurrection day. This is a much more current story. Picture with me a cemetery setting in a hilly, wooded rural area. A fresh grave site is open, awaiting the ashes of a loved one. A time of 1P.M. had been set for the private service for Robert Eli Harvey, 34 years old.


Robert is the youngest, adoptive son of Rev. Naomi Harvey. He was the 3rd generation of "Harvey" folks on Grays Harbor, Washington State. The cemetery is Fern Hill, the resting place of Robert's grandparents, and two brothers, Roberto and Davido., who died in a house fire many years ago The full story is told in Naomi's book, "A Miracle Woman-The Naomi Harvey Story" available on Amazon.com by Darlene Bogle.

Robert had long ago expressed the desire to be laid to rest in the family plot, and arrangements had been made several years earlier. Now, there would be no RIP for him, and no time to grieve his loss.

Robert Eli Harvey

No urn to place in the open grave, because the remains were stolen.


Yes, 15 minutes before that service, Robert’s wife of 5 months, Shannon Wildner Tiedemann, and Mae Hamilton, the sister in law of Robert’s brother Izzy ran up to the mortuary and grabbed the ashes then left the area. Naomi arrived to be told that Robert was gone, and that Shannon had them.

The fact that she was Robert’s wife, did not entitle her to the ashes, because she had signed them over to the cemetery to be buried. If she was entitled, she could have just gone and picked them up.

So, why is it important to tell this story? Robert’s siblings, Rosa,Juan,Miguel,Manuel,Victor, along with Darlene Bernard and Rocky Liester, and Mike,Dan and Dennis Kennedy had part of their history stolen also

I tried to have this printed in the Local newspaper, however, even tho I could prove what was done, their policy is not to print pieces where people are called out for actions like this. Say What? I thought we had freedom of the press and freedom of speech. Not in Aberdeen.

So, the big question is why did this happen? Why were the actions of Robert’s biological family so cruel and despicable? It is all tied up in their mis-understanding of homosexuality. They are all convinced it is a choice we make, and that we are going to hell for being gay! Naomi Harvey is a minister of the Lord Jesus Christ, preaching to straight and gay, transgendered and every person that crosses her path. She shares the good news that God loves them, just as they are, without exception. She lives that love in how she treats others.

So how could these people be so cruel and deprive her of a last opportunity to honor Robert’s desire to be laid to rest in the family plot? They told me he would not be buried in a grave owned by a lesbian! So they stole his ashes…and we do not know where they have taken him.

Naomi will not have the ashes to bury, but she has 35 years of memories, and the knowledge that when he knew his life was ending, he came home to mama.

My prayer is that the evil deeds and vicious comments made by Shannon and May Hamilton, will come back to rest upon their heads. Amen! May it be so.

A message to the person who commented on this posting with vile hatred. You said if I really knew Naomi I would not be defending her. The opposite is true. It is because I know her heart, and the heart of the Father that I stand by her. It sounds like you have a heart filled with unforgiveness and condemnation. I pray you will find healing and peace. God has forgiven her, as He has each of us, and we will all meet in Heaven someday.

When God seems absent

Life could be so much easier to understand if God was visible and sitting down in the living room with me for a long chat. I could ask the tough questions, like why do people hurt one another; why does there have to be war and why do children die. Would He tell me? I wonder.

When adversity knocks on the door. . . and it will . . . why does God seem absent from my circumstances? It is easy to think that because I am a Christian, I should be insulated from this roller coaster ride of life filled with persecution; rejection or poor treatment from others. After all, we act like we are the priviliged ones here in the USA.

I have tried to treat others with compassion and do the right thing in my relationships. Why should I be subject to these inconveniences?

My faith in God should be strong enough to find the silver lining in any negative circumstance. Shouldn't it?

Is my faith limited to the blessings part of life?

Where is God when families lose their jobs, homes or health? When life dumps sorrow upon sorrow . . . does God even care? Have you wondered about this even a little?

I recently counseled a women who feels like God had abandoned her in a time of crisis and after all she had done to serve Him was a cosmic joke. He is totally absent...so she felt on that day. She asks and doesn't receive. She prays to a God who ignores her...or does He?

She asked me to pray . . . because I at least think someone is listening. She was looking for a new place to live; closer to work, within her budget and open to her dog. The search had not resulted in any remote possibilities. So, I not only talked to God . . . but He talked to me. Told me the town she should look in for a place, and to give it 2 days. I told her what I heard . . . and she scoffed. God doesn't talk back. Really?

Well, two days later, she had a place in that town, all requirements met . . .and she didn't know how I knew that would happen. I listened.

I don't always listen that well, but this time I did. She has a renewed faith because God finally heard someone's prayer. But what about when it seems like He's just not interested?

I think about Job who lost his home; land; family and friends. The friends he had left told him to curse God and die! With friends like that, who need them?

Things didn't turn around over night, but eventually everything was restored. All the followers of Christ lost their lives when they refused to deny him. I wonder . . . would I lose heart if everything went wrong?

There are examples every day of bad things happening to good people and adversity knocking on the door. So what do we do?

1. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Stop . . . breathe. Breath and Spirit are the same word and it is spirit that connects us to one another. That's why we care about injustice and pain.







2. Be Thankful. Remember the things that have worked out in the past. Pray for others.







3. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   If you can't change it, release it to God. Praise God for all the things He has done in the past, and Remember them during the hard times.
   
   You can see the hand of God in your life and the lives of others regardless of circumstances. There are prayers being lifted all around the world, by all kinds of faith followers . . . and God is listening. So, until we meet Him face to face to ask those hard questions . . . Listen and encourage one another. This too, will pass.

Eagle Christians

Earlier this month, I attended a conference called Accs West 2011. It is Allies of Christian Churches and we met at Mt.Cross in the Santa Cruz mountains. Mostly it is Christian Gay Pentecostal folks from Calif/Ore and Washington. Our theme this year is Isaiah 40:31. "They that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength..." So what did I learn? We have been set aside for God's purpose and timing. Like the eagle we must wait for the right air currents to help us soar on our journey. Eagles can go 10,000 feet high, yet see a mouse in the field two miles below and swoop down to get a meal. I talked about "waiting" and how do we do that...With patience, hope, expectation, impatience...etc. You fill in the blank. Sometime we want to do anything but wait for God's timing...but it will always be productive when we wait in prayer for God's wind beneath our wings. I also talked about renewing our strength like the eagle...and how after about 60 years an eagle will go off by itself and use it's talons to pull out the old feathers on it's head and back. It will be bloodied by the task, but their strength is then renewed for the next 60 years...It's a needed part of their existance. Anyone need help pulling your feathers? We talked about mounting up with wings like eagles...the strength they have...and how all of our paper money has an eagle image. (I took an offering at that point) Many countries have the eagle as their symbol and there is much diversity in God's eagle creation...just as there is much diversity in God's family of Christian followers! We had a signing choir from Chapel of Peace in Onterio Ca. and if you want to be inspired, you should have seen the signs for eagle strength...What a blessing. Apostle Brenda Evans was our keynoter...Naomi Harvey was there to sing and share her wisdom, pastor Mary Mac and pastor Roi from So.Calif and of course, yours truely. For three days we worshiped God, and had great fellowship! My friend Kathy Baldock came from reno and met these very special people in my world! My partner, Becky, made some little nests out of coconut and roasted them...put some chocolate eggs in there...and we all enjoyed the image of tasting and beholding that God is Good! Wish you all could have been there.

What would you do? Just wondering

Well, I've started spending Thursday afternoons at my church to volunteer in the office. You never know who will come in, or what call will be next. Last week, just before quitting time, a woman came into the office asking to talk with a pastor. I'm the only one here, so I tell her while I'm not THE pastor, I am a minister, and how can I help? She tells me she and her husband are in town because her sister just passed away from Breast Cancer. She left a 9 year old son. They have been helping get the home ready to sell. Her husband has been doing the heavy work. He has developed blisters on his hands. He has type 2 diabetes and now has a blood poisoning and is too sick to drive to their home in the centeral valley. They filled their gas tank, but he can't drive and she is unable to drive because of an accident that left her injured. WoW. I said, "I'm happy to pray with you, but our church doesn't have any provision to assist in any monitary way. She said they needed to get a motel and her husband needed to get some medicine on his hands. I offered $20.00 of my own money, but that won't get them a room I listened to her story. I went on the internet to check local motels...nothing there that could help her. What could I do? Her husband came into the office and I could see he was in a bad way, and that his hands were indeed blistered. So, if you were in my place, what would you do? The need is genuine...and urgent. Dinner is waiting for me at home...No time to ask what would Jesus do. I'm here listening on His behalf. So...what would you do??? I decided to have them follow me to the nearest Motel 6 and went in and paid for 1 nights lodging for them. I told them it was in Jesus Name I was ministering to their need and when they got back home, they could send me a check when they got the money. I gave them my card. I drove home feeling pretty good that I had rescued someone...and wondered what Becky would say to my generosity. She supported my decision and I have decided that even if I never get a check from them, I still did what I needed to do. What would you do?