I've been thinking a lot in recent weeks of how I want to be remembered when I am no longer physically upon this earth. No, I don't plan on catching that train anytime soon, but someday it will be my turn!
I have long since abandoned my own obituary:
Here lies a poet,
Who couldn't spell.
She got saved,
She lived, and loved,
And had a ball;
What killed her was trying to write it all!
Having written several obituaries for others has given me the opportunity to consider not only what will be said about me, but who will remember what was said, and more importantly, how did I impact the lives of others? Was it as I intended. (not always the same thing as reality)
And what of my self imposed tasks to accomplish? I am working on two books that are very important to complete and get published. God has gifted me with writing skills, and an awesome editor who journies with me through these projects. I feel an urgency to complete them.
I have several trips in my future, to spend time with Becky and enjoy the USA, I might even have another book or two simmering in my heart. Those are all things that I DO. I'm learning to be a human being, not a human doing.
I had lunch with a very special niece today and we talked for hours. She lost a sister through a tragedy 3 years ago. I asked how she was handling it, this far out! She said she was still angry. (This was a drug situation) She doesn't talk much because she has trust issues. She asked how I was dealing with my sisters recent death. I explained, for me talking to trusted and "safe" people, really helps. Thank You to my Church resources and friends. My niece has plenty of reason NOT to trust people, but I won't tell her story. This is mine.
She said "Aunt Darlene, God has blessed you and given you a heart of compassion for others. You can be relied on to do what you say you will. You are kind and affect lots of lives. You stand up when you need too, and pray for everyone. That's how people will remember you"
Wow. It's not my sermons...not my books...none of that is more important than love, and love makes a difference.
My bucket list? To be a lover.
When I was sixteen, I wrote a poem which I will share here. Yes...I still remember it.
WHAT DO I WANT OUT OF LIFE, SAID I?
I MUST DECIDE BEFORE I DIE.
DO I WANT MONEY? FAME? TO BE WIDELY KNOWN
OR TO BE REMEMBERED FOR THE LOVE I HAVE SHOWN?
I WANT ONLY A FEW TO REMEMBER MY NAME,
I DON'T WANT WEALTH, FORTUNE OR FAME
I WANT TO BRING HAPPINESS TO SOMEONE EACH DAY
MAYBE BY A SMILE, OR IN SOME OTHER WAY
I WANT OUT OF LIFE, JUST WHAT I PUT IN;
I DON'T WANT REWARDS GIVEN BY MEN
MY REWARD IS THE FEELING INSIDE MY HEART;
TO MAKE OTHERS HAPPY, IS JUST DOING MY PART
IT WAS PUBLISHED IN THE NATIONAL POETRY BOOK FOR HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS.
SO, I GUESS MY FEELING AT THIS AGE IS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME AS IT WAS BACK IN 1962. Except the money thing would be nice. LOL!
So, I invest in people, and if I never travel to far off lands...I can watch other's video's.
I'm still in process. Wait, is that a train I hear?
In deep affection to anyone who reads this musing, or rambling!